


Mania

by gundamGreg



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-04
Updated: 2011-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-21 01:12:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gundamGreg/pseuds/gundamGreg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here is a really cheesy story about Sollux and Karkat porking and then they fall in pity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mania

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: HEY ASSHOLE.   
CG: DID YOU EAT TONIGHT.   
TA: why do you keep a2kiing me that?   
CG: ANSWER ME JACKASS.   
CG: HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING TONIGHT?   
TA: ugh ii wiill iif iit'll 2hut you up   
CG: SEE?   
CG: THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO FUCKING ASK EVERY NIGHT.   
TA: let me gue22   
TA: next you're goiing two   
CG: DID YOU SLEEP YESTERDAY?   
TA: 2ee ii already knew where thii2 wa2 goiing   
CG: WELL THEN, DID YOU?   
TA: a liittle   
TA: wa2n't tiired   
CG: UGH.   
CG: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?   
CG: I AM SO SICK OF ACTING AS YOUR LUSUS.   
TA: yeah ii'm 2iick of iit two   
TA: 2o why don't you ju2t 2top   
TA: ii'm tryiing two get thii2 program two compiile riight now ii don't have tiime two 2top and make a 2andwiich   
CG: AND HERE WE FUCKING GO.   
CG: GOOD JOB, YOU'RE THE TROLL BILL GATES.   
CG: IT'S YOU.   
TA: do you even know how 2tupiid you 2ound when you add on the word troll two every name liike that.   
CG: NOT NEARLY AS STUPID AS YOU ARE  
TA: oh my god 2top the pre22e2  
TA: kk'2 iin2ult2 ju2t graduated the 2econd 2weep  
CG: OH MAN YOU ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY YOURSELF.  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU.  
CG: I HOPE YOU STARVE.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

TA: 2hiit   
TA: why am ii 2uch an a22

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: FUCK.   
CG: I'M SORRY.   
CG: YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME ARE YOU?   
TA: no kk   
TA: ii'm not mad at you   
TA: look ii ju2t haven't been able two 2leep much   
CG: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.   
CG: GO EAT SOMETHING AND GO TO BED.   
CG: WE'LL ALL STILL BE HERE TOMORROW.   
CG: PROBABLY   
TA: fiine iif iit'll 2hut you up

  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]   


CG: IT FEELS WEIRD TO SAY IT BUT GOOD NIGHT, I GUESS?   
CG: SINCE YOU'VE FUCKED UP YOUR SLEEPING SCHEDULE.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

* * *

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: SO, DID YOU SLEEP FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR?   
TA: ye2   
TA: riight now ii'm kiind of doiing a lot of thiing2 though   
CG: OH, REALLY?   
CG: LIKE WHAT?   
TA: programmiing 2ome more   
TA: trolliing with ff and terezii   
CG: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO FLIRT WITH EVERY LIVING THING WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS?   
CG: WHAT THE HELL COULD YOU BE TROLLING WITH TEREZI ABOUT ANYWAY?   
CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE DOUCHEBAG.   
TA: god dont get 2o jealou2 riight away   
TA: we're actually talkiing about you   
CG: OH THAT'S NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL.   
CG: TALKING SHIT BEHIND MY BACK?   
CG: MAN, YOU GUYS ARE SOME GREAT FRIENDS.   
TA: fuck kk that'2 not iit at all   
TA: you know what fuck iit ii'm not even goiing two tell you   
CG: GOOD.   
CG: I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

TA: you're goiing two troll terezii now aren't you?   
TA: you're 2o prediictable   
TA: 2eriiou2ly kk 2ometiime2 you're a2 bad a2 kanaya   
TA: only more 2hellfii2h and paranoiid   
TA: 2hiit   
TA: ii mean 2elfii2h   
TA: ii need two 2top talkiing two ff 2o much   
TA: you know what?   
TA: iif you want two know 2o bad maybe ii'll ju2t go over there and 2how you   
TA: 2ee you 2oon kk

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

* * *

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CG: IF IT ISN'T MY FAVORITE PSYCHOPATH.   
CG: EXCEPT LITERALLY. OUT OF ALL THE CRAZY GIRLS I TALK TO, I PROBABLY DISLIKE YOU THE LEAST.   
GC: H3H3H3H3   
GC: WH4T DO YOU W4NT K4RKL3S   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU AND SOLLUX TROLLING ABOUT?   
CG: THAT ASSHOLE WON'T TELL ME.   
CG: AND HE'S IN ONE OF HIS MOODS.   
GC: R34LLY   
GC: 1 COULDN'T T3LL   
GC: MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST S33M3D PR3TTY CHIPP3R TO M3   
CG: NO, THE OTHER KIND OF MOOD.   
GC: OOOOH H3H3H3H3   
GC: TH4T 3XPL41NS 1T   
CG: EXPLAINS WHAT?   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID HE TELL YOU?   
GC: >:]   
GC: WOULDN'T YOU L1K3 TO KNOW?   
CG: THAT'S KIND OF WHY I ASKED, IN CASE YOU COULDN'T TELL.   
GC: 1 TH1NK TH4T H3 W1LL T3LL YOU WH3N H3'S R34DY   
GC: WH1CH M4Y B3 SOON3R TH4N YOU TH1NK   
CG: SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I SUBJECT MYSELF TO ANY OF YOU.   
CG: BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT I HATE MYSELF.   
CG: WHAT THE HELL? SOMEBODY'S KNOCKING.   
CG: BE RIGHT BACK.   
GC: H3H3H3H3

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

* * *

Karkat stood up, grumbling to himself as he went to go answer the door. He hated it when his friends went and trolled behind his back like that. Espcially when it came to Sollux and Terezi, the two trolls that knew about his mutant blood.

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that when he opened the door, he was all but completely unprepared for Sollux, who elbowed his way into Karkat's respiteblock and slammed the door behind him. A moment later, Sollux had Karkat shoved up against the wall, pinning his hands above his head. "And you call me a fucking flirt," he spat.

"What the hell are you talking about!? Let go of me!" Karkat said, struggling. Then he kicked out, catching Sollux in the shin. Sollux hissed and pulled back just enough for Karkat to shove him away, giving him just enough distance to start to think more clearly.

Sollux glowered at him as he shifted his weight to his other leg. "You pity and pity and pity me and you think that I'm not going to pick up on it? God KK, do I actually theem that dumb to you? Becauthe I'm not."

"...the fuck," Karkat said, staring blankly at him moments before he erupted. "I am not fucking pitying you! I was just checking up on you! If anything, I fucking... just go fuck off and die in a fire!"

"You are tho full of shit," Sollux replied sourly and pressed himself up against Karkat again, more insistantly this time. Karkat reached out and balled his fists up in Sollux's shirt, ready to push him away again, but just as he did Sollux fisted his own hands in Karkat's hair and tilted his head up, sealing their lips together.

When they parted, Sollux sighed breathily, his hands drifting down to grasp Karkat's hips. Karkat inhaled sharply as he pulled them flush together. "Why are you thuch a tease?"

"I have no fucking clue what you're talking about!" Karkat said, glaring up at him, his hands still twisted in the fabric.

"I only hate mythelf half the time... I can't imagine feeling that way as often as you do."

"Wait, are you...?" Karkat grimaced in near disbelief.

"Yeth, you thupid idiot. I'm thaying that I fucking pity you," Sollux said, and then started to slide his hands up under the hem of Karkat's shirt. "And I know full well you feel the thame way, even if you're too much of a grub to admit it."

Karkat shuddered and bit his lip, his skin tingling pleasently wherever Sollux' hands drifted over it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to argue anymore, and just settled for grumbling unhappily as Sollux pushed his shirt up over his head, before grimacing and trying to hunch away.

"Are you theriouthly that shy?" Sollux asked.

Karkat glanced up to snarl at him, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. "Just shut up! Not everybody is so full of themselves."

Sollux leaned in and started to nibble at Karkat's neck, catching him with oversized teeth every once in a while. Karkat yelped and shoved Sollux away, trying to clap a hand over the marks before they bled. "Hey dumbath," Sollux said, "I already know you're a mutant freak."

"Then why the fuck would you do that!?"

"Becauthe I knew you'd flip out and start acting like a grub about it," Sollux said smugly, and Karkat's eyes narrowed.

"No wonder you have no god damned friends," he growled, then shoved forward, catching Sollux off guard and sending him to the floor.

"What the fuck are you-" Sollux started, but was inturrupted when Karkat followed him down to straddle his waist, holding him down.

"Look, I don't really feel like putting up with all this bitey wannabe-kismesis bullshit. So if we're going to do this, we're doing it my way."

"You're not going to quote one of your thupid romcomth are you?"

"What? No, you idiot," Karkat snapped, and then started to forcibly pull off Sollux's shirt. "Just shut up already, will you?"

Sollux chuckled and said, "You firth," even as he lifted his arms to let Karkat pull his shirt off. Rather than tug it off all the way, though, Karkat suddenly paused and started to twist it around Sollux' wrists until they were bound together. Sollux yanked uselessly at the binds, then shrugged as best as he could before forcusing.

Karkat's expression became even angrier than usual as he moved to unzip his own pants, his arm surrounded by blue and red tendrils of energy, "Haha, real funny asshole. Oh, look at me, I'm the fucking psionic, and I'm going to be a little douchebag and take control of other people's bodies! Hey, asshole! You might as well just go change your name to Vriska Serket!"

"You are tho bitchy," Sollux just lamented in response. "No wonder nobody else will do thith with you."

"Look who's talking," Karkat started to say, but had to stop to groan as he was made to cup himself loosely through his underwear, "L-like anybody else would put up with your fucking mood swings." At that, Sollux stopped controlling him, and Karkat glanced to his face worriedly, afraid that he'd gone too far.

Sollux, however, was utterly flushed in more than one sense of the word, his cheeks tinged dark yellow. Karkat stopped stroking himself to push his bottoms off, sighing with relief as his throbbing bone bulge was freed. Sollux cursed under his breath, before panting out quietly, "God, KK, I'm tho fucking hard."

"Yeah, yeah, I've got it," Karkat griped, making short work of Sollux' pants. He frowned when he saw that Sollux had went commando that day. "Are you fucking serious?"

"There wath pretty much no way thith wathn't happening," Sollux explained, arching his hips up to try and get some contact. Karkat just settled for glaring at him, even as he started to stroke Sollux as slow as either of them could stand. Sollux bucked into his hand immediately, groaning.

Karkat stroked him a few more times before settling back down into his lap, pressing their bulges together. "Here, idiot, I'll just do us both," he grumbled as he reached down and wrapped his hand around both of them, his eyes slipping closed after the first few slick pumps.

"Why'd you have to do thith?" Sollux whined, pulling at the shirt around his hands. Karkat growled.

"Now who's being bitchy?" he said, and Sollux just started to moan as his hand picked up speed.

It wasn't particularly surprising when it took only another minute of Karkat's handiwork to have Sollux quivering right on the edge, his hips shaking as he tried to thrust up. Karkat opened his eyes just enough and just in time to catch Sollux suddenly arch his back and start gasping noisily for breath. Karkat himself keened when the sight drove straight to his bulge and spurned him to an unexpected finish as well.

Even though Sollux had finished first, Karkat still caught his breath faster, and Sollux became all too aware of the vaguely-horrified look on Karkat's face. "Jethuth KK, what's the problem?"

"I... what did we just do? Fuck, I'm so stupid!" Karkat reached up and untangled Sollux's shirt from around his hands, before practically forcing it back onto him. Sollux sat up and watched as Karkat just as quickly re-dressed himself completely, and then threw Sollux' pants at him.

"These moods of yours are so fucking retarded!" Karkat yelled, then stood up and stormed away. Sollux watched him leave, then rolled his eyes and got himself looking presentable before leaving.

* * *

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: god kk iim 2orry   
TA: 2o 2orry   
TA: ii'm an iidiiot and a terriible troll   
TA: and ii get why you probably hate me now   
TA: platoniically

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CG: I DON'T HATE YOU.   
CG: PLATONICALLY OR OTHERWISE.   
CG: I JUST NEEDED SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: 2o then what diid you deciide.   
TA: about u2 beiing friiend2 2tiill.   
CG: UGH.   
CG: DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT?   
TA: iimagiine iif we both beat around the bu2h a2 much a2 you do.   
CG: OK, POINT TAKEN.   
CG: ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT.   
CG: AND I THOUGHT THAT, MAYBE INSTEAD OF BEING FRIENDS, WE COULD BECOME SOMETHING A LITTLE REDDER?   
CG: SEE, I WAS GOING TO SPLIT THOSE TWO THOUGHTS INTO SEPARATE MESSAGES.   
CG: BUT I KNEW THAT IF I DID, YOU'D FLIP OUT AND BLOCK ME AFTER ONLY THE FIRST HALF.   
TA: you're 2o thoughtful kk.   
CG: IF YOU'RE BEING INSINCERE AGAIN, I'M GOING TO FUCKING FLIP.   
CG: I'M TRYING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST HERE, YOU DUMPASS.   
CG: LOOK AT THAT I CAN'T EVEN TYPE BECAUSE OF YOU.   
TA: ii meant iit hone2tly dumpa22.   
TA: and ii would liike that. ii've been piityiing you for a whiile.   
TA: almo2t every tiime ii talk two you anymore.   
CG: YOU'RE PRETTY PITIBLE YOURSELF, FUCKASS.   
TA: 2o then   
TA: <3?   
CG: I,   
CG: YEAH.   
CG: <3   
TA: ii would come over agaiin but ii thiink ii ju2t want two catch up on my 2leep for now.   
TA: good day kk.   
TA: you 2hould get 2ome 2leep two.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: I ALREADY KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP FOREVER.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

**Author's Note:**

> note to self: write less fics with pesterlogs because they are a pain and a half to code


End file.
